Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
