Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
