Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
