You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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