I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
