Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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