if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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