Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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