Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Come share oat with me in your robe
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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