I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
