Yo dont text me then not text me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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