whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
