i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Everclear isn't food dammit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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