in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
