Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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