Dual....:-)
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
