Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
