So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
