HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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