He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
They took my balls.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
