I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
