I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Mom said you looked used
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
