Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
