he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
