So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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