I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize