My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
