marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just tell him i said nine months
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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