Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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