i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
