Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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