that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
