hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
