rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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