Non-Jews are for practice
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
