It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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