Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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