i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
home. puking in laundry basket.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
