The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
