wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
