Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
