As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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