weddingsv make me drug and hornr
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
