Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
