You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
