This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
