just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize