Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize