He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
