Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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