I must be too annoying 4 u.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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