That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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