i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
