there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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