ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
