Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
