There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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