just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
