Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize