yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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