Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
